So last night we had a somewhat, almost constructive conversation. I asked what conversations we could have outside of MC to move things forward. She asked for my list of things that “were wrong with her.” I said intimacy and empathy. It was not that straight forward, the conversation started with soft start up. I mentioned that sometimes I feel like she hypocritical. This conversation stemmed from MC.
Anyhow, she wanted examples and I said i didn’t want to talk about it at home. She had really been pressing. I asked her for the same and she said that she feels i put myself ahead of her and the kids. She said she has been noticing it more and more and she needs to decide whether or not that is something she can live with. She said that in sex she feels used and she doesn’t like that I have pressured her for sex in the past.
It really [censored] to have to deal with this stuff at home and then after to go and deal with tough days at work; had a tough one today and had to leave and go for a drive. I feel like my baseline stress level givers around a 7 so pile a couple things on and I’m at my limit.
She asked about my day and I started to tell her about it. She seemed distracted and from my perspective didn’t seem to care. We then got interrupted by my son and she never circled back. I brought it up when we were going to bed. I asked her if she had noticed that I had a real tough day. She then told me how she had tried to ask but how I don’t tell her things, etc, etc, etc.
There was no “that [censored], sorry you had a tough day.” Just a bunch of defensive reasons as to how she was right which implied I was wrong.
Giving up is easier. Patience = long suffering.
Knowing I wasn’t going to fall asleep After laying there for 10 minutes I got up and went to the gym. She didn’t ask where I was going.
I guess I’ll read more books, it helps me be patient while I’m waiting.
