Alison, I guess I missed your recent updates. I'm not sure what to say except just keep going. Remember that not a single decision of yours needs to happen in a single day. You are waiting for things to settle into a clear future, but I don't see that happening.
If anything, your future will be come clear only through time, and you'll look back and see your path clearly and how it lead you. All you can do is show up everyday with good intentions, be patient with yourself and your H, and listen to your heart on what the best steps are.
