My title is fitting, because that’s the way I feel.
Job, thank you. This is actually the only place I feel comfortable venting in my life. I’m still here after all these years due to the unremarkable support and friendship. I hate being the miserable one all the time.
I had the day off. Went to the doctor, refilled my meds, went to return stuff at the mall, went to the grocery store, went to the gym, and went to TJ’s soon I’m going to cook the kid and I a steak dinner as per her request. First I have to ice my painful feet. I will tell you, I love those endorphins from hard exercise. Since I’m not getting them from chocolate anymore, exercise is the place.
If anyone read my last post, it’s just really tough not having someone ( an adult) who comes home and asks about your day and kisses your forehead. For so many years now. I’ve just lost hope.
My area of growth, however, is even though I think I might be at the loneliest right now, I still know I would not settle for any less than I want or deserve. I will not act of desperation. Especially when I know that will only get me right back where I am now.
Funny OLD story of the day. I think I mentioned a guy on FB dating liked me who happens to the brother of twins that were in my class. When I mentioned that, I think he might have freaked. Then today we matched on bumble. It I didn’t place him right away. First, I placed him as someone I talked to a while back on Bumble and I said he seemed really familiar. The. I really put it together! And I said, “hey, it’s you again! So and so’s brother!!!l we keep finding each other on dating sites! I probably REALLY scared him away this time. But he’s so freakin’ cute. He graduated in 95’ , my ex’s sister graduated in ‘94 and 96’, my ex graduated in 97’ and i in 98’ all from the same small high school.
There is this other guys I am talking to who seems so normal. He’s been divorced for 10 years, had a 7 year LTR in there and has been single for a year. He also had a 13 year old daughter. He’s got a little bit of my interest.
I told my D 13 she could have a sleepover this weekend. It’s fun for me to see her have fun, so why not? It’ll be a pizza and painting sleepover .
Last edited by job; 01/13/2011:05 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
