I think it was AnotherStander or possibly Ready2Change that said in another thread that in some sitches the LBS has actually checked out of the R too but the WAS just beat them to the BD. Something like that. I think that kind of describes my sitch, where I already had enough of W's BS years ago. I hung on for the kids sake and for mine too, so I would have full access to the kids every day.
Yeah I do say that fairly regularly. It seems like in most marriages, over time both spouses tend to end up on autopilot. Things start out romantic and loving, but after careers get into full swing and kids come along then you end up spending all your time parenting and adulting and not spending enough time on the relationship. I think most marriages that survive for decades have two spouses that are willing to accept this state, but the M's that end up here typically have one spouse that is OK with the status quo and one that isn't.
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I get that kids have special R's with mom and depending on the circumstances W will take them sometimes. I would say far and away this has been the toughest part of my sitch so far.
Yeah that is a tough thing to go through for sure, and I think a lot of us would go through it regardless of what happened in our M. I had always heard that girls are close to their dads when they are young but their moms when they get older, and it certainly happened to me. It really hurt to see them push away from me, but it's part of growing up. I still have a great relationship with both of them, but for a few years there they didn't want to have much to do with me. Hopefully it will get better for you with time!
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Not a peep about the D or negative comment about W is coming from me that is for certain. It will be interesting to feel the vibe in the room. I'll have a smile and a genuine "how are things?" for them all.
Good, sounds like a great attitude to have going in!
