I agree...you need to slow down. She knew/sensed that you were just about ready to move out. She knew she had to do something to keep you there. She appears to have no issue answering anything that you asked her about the OM and she said she has blocked his phone calls/emails. That may be true or not. Is she willing to allow you to visit her accounts and see if what she told you is the truth? Transparency has to take place and she needs to earn your trust and not sweep the mess under the carpet and forget about it.
She has no problem pointing out the 3 things from the past that you should have been doing, but are doing now. Well, what about on her side of the street? Where there any things that you wanted her to do that she hasn't done? Remember...any changes that you have made or making for yourself need to become permanent and you didn't do them to win her back.
If she truly is sincere about reconciling, then she will need to do the work necessary to earn your trust. Is she willing to see an IC or MC? Both you can't go back to the marriage and pretend that this didn't happen. A new marriage must begin and that means trust is the first on the agenda and the actions speaker louder than words. Do her actions and words mirror each other.
Please, please don't be too hasty...take things slow and this may mean some date nights together and going on from there. BTW, you may want to visit Gordie's threads over on the MLC Forum. He reconciled w/his wife and you must might find some tidbits that may help you in your situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
