Patience and Limbo (Core thread 3)

[hoosjim]

Agree with the others. Take it slow. Be healthily skeptical.

Review Sandi2's posts and threads for what to look for from a WW to know she is "turning" and ready to truly work on the MR. Contrition, sincere sorrow for her actions (and not just "Im sorry i hurt you, but: "I am sorry for having an affair, it was wrong"), expressed and DEMONSTRATED commitment to working to save the MR, willing to do whatever it takes to save MR. Actions speak louder than words. In general, she should agree to strict NC with OM, some form of transparency with you WRT devices, etc, MC and, possibly, IC depending on your sitch. Read and re-read Sandi2's stuff. You'll likely "know it when you see it"... when their rebellious spirit dies out, it's usually a complete change in demeanor/behavior.

You are likely to experience many stops and starts. I certainly did. In my case, evidence that my WW was willing to do the hard work was that she came clean on everything involving her and OM: was VERY contrite and apologetic, almost desperately so; not only agreed to MC/IC but sought our counselor out on her own after I had walked out; was finally willing to be intimate with me.