Moving On Over to Surviving the Big D

[Gerda]

I imagine that no matter how detached you are and how obvious it is that H is broken and OW is a broken person (I would insert a variety of other nouns there but am trying to be mature), that it still must grind against your heart a little to get that news. So here is a hug from Gerda. (((HaWho))))).

What a solid foundation that couple is building. ?!

Ugh.

I don't understand why you would have to say, "I wish them well." I don't wish them well at all and I don't even know any of you personally! I certainly don't wish my H and his OW well. I wish she would go back to her H and kids and at least one family could get restored! I can't remember at the moment if it was you or OwnIt who told me that it was always good for me to transmit my values. It has really liberated me as far as talking to my kids. Sometimes it's hard to be sure I am saying something out of my values and not out of Pain Planet, but as a child of divorce I would find it confusing to hear my LBS mom say she wished them well. I'd rather hear her say, "It's a little painful to hear that but we'll be just fine and looking forward to lots of wonderful things in our life." Or something that would validate my confusion. I really liked my stepdad but I always found it all really awful and confusing and the fact that no one validated that made me feel really alone.