One year in...

[Jac12]

Thanks Unchien - when you lay it like that I no you are right. Option #1 just doesn't make sense for many reasons at the moment and obviously she prefers #3 for her own reasons.

She still feels really selfish at the moment and that makes me keep my guard up too. As for a possible OM - I don't really get too stirred up about that at this point. We've been separated for nearly 1 year now and in a way I feel like she's losing me. I need to be better with GAL but I'm starting to feel more like she's the one missing out rather than I'm the one missing out (which is how I felt at the beginning).

Now that she's moving in to another place it just feels like the end of this (one way or another) isn't coming up too soon. At the end of the day she is still choosing to not be with me so I need to continue to give space and sort out my life.

Yesterday was her Bday. As we were out (she invited me out with her family) she asked me if I would be willing to see her new place or go there at some point. She asked because she knew I really wanted nothing to do with her old place due to the circumstances. She said: "I thought maybe you'd be ok seeing my new place as things are different now but let me know".

I said: "Yeah it does feel different but it's hard because my W is still choosing to live somewhere else." I should have just said "it does feel different, but we will see."

The lack of affection though is draining and certainly makes me feel like she's not interested and never will be. I know it's not that black and white but it makes me realize I need to work on some thigns that R2C would suggest.