Thank you both so much....reading your advice and experiences help to stop the swirling in my head.
Venting/ journaling ~ so after a full week of no eye contact, hiding in the basement and zero to no convo from H ...I feel as if I’ve made a mistake in detaching. I was supposed to go out last night part of GAL ...but my plans got cancelled and truthfully I physically wasn’t feeling well so I would have been pushing myself to go anyway...almost simultaneous to my plans being cancelled H asked if I wanted some food from a place we take out from...I didn’t answer right away but finally said sure. Food came, H stayed upstairs instead of retreating, we watched a movie (this hasn’t happened in weeks) then part way thru H got super sick...I didn’t know what to do. Leave him alone and ignore his suffering? I ended up bringing him water and asking if he was ok, checked on him a few times ...eventually he was feeling better and rejoined to watch the rest of the movie. He even thanked me for the good movie pick before leaving to go to bed. This morning he still feels like crap but we’ve had much more conversation then we’ve been having since this all started...current events, work, etc. Today and yesterday is the MOST NORMAL I’ve seen him since this all started. Major glimpses of the H I know.
Even though this was a one off incident I feel like I let him eat cake. Should I have just left him to take care of himself?
I know speculation will drive you nuts and I write all of this with ZERO expectations from him/ for me ....but could the last week of him retreating to his basement cave after handing me first steps in S papers be getting to him? It’s the first time I’ve agreed to get a L with no push back. He seems calm...I’m scared. Ha!
