Well, just when you think you have seen it all; get ready for this one.
On Friday ex sends me this rambling text telling me his life is private and to keep the boys out of it. I text back I have no idea what he is talking about as I never ask the kids about his private life.
He proceeds to tell me that he instructed the kids to keep it private and I should not hold it against them. And then he says he got married over the Christmas break!
He says the boys met her 14 months ago and approved of his decision (like they could be allowed to say no). He says they do not want to be grilled about her. He then tells me “the woman in question,” who, mind you, is his wife, is honorable. He says she will not be attending any of s’s games so there won’t be any awkwardness?!?! Love how he calls his wife “the woman in question.” Is she his wife or a suspect? He refers to her that way several times. And what kind of wife/relationship is this if she is not to attend s’s games and this whole thing was kept secret?!? Is he ashamed of her? Scared to have her meet me?
Don’t need to think too hard on that one. I know she will be young and someone he can control. I think by the timing they were having an affair all along. He ended up moving out of the house like it was on fire so I suspect she was the reason. I know they are two broken people clinging to each other.
Feel awful that my kids have been hiding this for so long under his direction and feel awful that I was not given the dignity of meeting someone so prevalent in my kid’s life. I know she is broken to agree to this life with him and now this broken woman sees my kids. I know I cannot control how he handles this situation and it’s not on me that he wants to keep his wife a big secret.
Trying to decide how to discuss this all with my kids when they return home in a few days. I want to ask them how they feel about all this and impact on them that such a thing should not be a secret and that this not the way you handle things for all involved. Also want them to know I am happy and they don’t need to protect me, rather, I should have supported them.
My sisters both say the kids know what is up with all this and that it only will add to their understanding of how screwed up he is.
Just feel awful that my kids were subjected to all that so fast.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
