Patience and Limbo (Core thread 3)

[LITB]

Core,

I'm not completely up on your sitch, only the last few posts.

It does sukk what you found by snooping and how much of a blow it is to the soul. That being said, it is an opportunity to use it as motivation and to set a boundary. Your boundary is that this is unacceptable to you and you will not tolerate it.

I was once in this exact position at one time with 2 kids. Looking back, I would have done things differently.

I get the sense that you fear how you would be able to care for your children on your own. Is that accurate? If it is, don't let that be the reason you're not assertive with your boundaries. You'll find a way whatever the outcome.

I'd suggest communicating something like:
"W, this does not work for me. I respect myself enough not to live in an open relationship. Going forward, I will not pretend that we are a family and will not be doing anything together. We can split our time with our children 50/50. I will have them Sunday-Tuesday and you will have them Thursday-Saturday. We can alternate Wednesdays to make it fair. Once we have different households, we can alternate full weeks. If/when you choose to work with me on our MR, another person cannot be involved and I need full transparency."

Again, I do not know your whole sitch, so my suggestion is an example for your reference.