what DB approaches are right for me?

[SteveLW]

Detachment is not avoiding him. It's letting him come to you. When he does you engage, listen and validate, and be pleased, upbeat, and content.

As far as his complaint about emotional connection. LOL That's typical WAS skewed logic. "I want a D. I need time and space. Oh and I need more emotional connection." ?!?!?!

Believe nothing he says. And half of what he does. He's likely using emotional connection as an excuse for what he's doing. Trust me, it's ALWAYS the LBS' fault.