Core - I’m sorry you find yourself here. I too am very new and far from doing anything well. I’m guilty of not reading your full thread so forgive me if this is inaccurate but the last few posts I did read appear like you are having difficulty in the detachment area. I too am struggling with this. I can tell you that I feel the most confident IN MYSELF when I don’t think about what H is doing, where H is going, who H is talking to, who gave H certain things I’ve found or the future. We are still living together so everything is right in front of me all the time. Days that I feel insecure, angry, and baffled by how H can’t “snap out of it” I replay advice in my head that works for me....
-This isn’t about me...it hurts me but only when I allow it to -remember the confusion in your W ...when I feel like I’m wrong/crazy I quickly think of the some of the most baffling things H has said and then let it go again... -compassionate detachment (learned on this forum) is my center. H doesn’t want me right now and I’m not begging (been there done that) but I have chosen to still be here IF he turns around -I’ve almost fully stopped snooping cause I spiral every time I find something...for me there there is NO fact...so why get worked up over maybe’s (i need to take my own advice on this one)!
I try to make myself laugh a lot too (even tho not much is funny to me right now)....as Im writing this I had the song “I will survive” running through my head like a theme song .... interesting lyrics if you ask me:
“At first I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong And I grew strong And I learned how to get along And so you're back From outer space....”
Hmmmmmm...could this be about an MLCr??? The alien reference is BANG ON ...no????
