what DB approaches are right for me?

[SteveLW]

1st, you have to drop all expectations. He had fired you as his wife, start behaving that way. If your job fired you would you keep doing it? Of course not. As LBSs we all at first, after getting BD, and told they want space, start smothering our WAS. He's said he wants less of you, and now you're trying give him more of you? Had anyone ever asked you if you wanted something to eat? Like a piece of cake. You say no but they insist on giving you one? Annoying, huh?

We all struggle thinking detachment can't work. Read the distance-pursuit thread, it makes a ton of sense. And you'll see the wisdom in detaching and being less interactive with him. Plus, if this does proceed to divorce you'll already be healthily detached and in a much better place for taking care of the things you'll need to take care of, with a good sense of equality and fairness.

Plus the opposite of detachment is pressure and pursuit. Detachment in no way guarantees you'll save your marriage, but pressure and pursuit almost always guarantees that you'll push your WAS into following through with leaving and D. It just smothers then and pushes them away.