Stranger In My House

[HesAble]

I just had to leave the room where my kids are because I broke down crying while on the phone with a friend. She was telling me to stop demeaning myself for H's bad behavior. I was saying how terrible my judgment must be to have chosen this broken, damaged person to be my H. (I did not say this in front of the kids. I was outside of the house initially while they were inside eating, plus we have code words so they cannot figure out what we are saying). I was just walking back into the house when she told me to stop and that this is about him, not me. I had to leave the room but my daughter followed me and is now sitting outside the bathroom while I weep quietly while typing this.

Lord help me! I am really ready today to ask H to just pack his things and leave. Wherever he spends nights maybe he can live there!!!! After he moves, we can begin the divorce process. Someone please talk me off the ledge.