I would have a discussion w/your lawyer and allow him/her to handle the situation. Each person should disclose all assets. However, in my case, I was the one that did all of the discovery work and my xh didn't provide his, and to be honest, I didn't think he was capable of even doing the necessary work to complete the discovery side because he ws completely way out there and not thinking clearly. We didn't push for him to complete his package because I knew what he had in the way of assets and I had statements, etc. from a few years before he went off the edge of rational behavior.
MLCers lie, i.e., do not expect him to be honest. His lawyer will listen to what he has to say and will base his recommendations on those conversations. At some point, his lawyer should be able to recognize that something is "off" w/him. There are some lawyers that can tell right away that this is going to be a money fest and will prolong proceedings.
My xh went into truly monster mode after he was presented w/the separation papers that he wanted me to have drawn up. Once he received the draft papers....well...that was it...angry mode throughout the 2 1/2 years it took for us to be divorced. That may not be the case for you. Hopefully your h won't go to the angry mode.
Once you begin the process for a separation and/or a divorce...those actions become business deals. You will need to think w/your head and not your heart. He may very well promise you the moon just to get you to fall into the trap of believing him. Many of them do not follow through on their promises. Stay the course and listen to your lawyer.
What we recommend does work here...you just have to think like a business person now. The man you once knew is gone and he will do whatever it takes to make himself feel better...even if it means leaving you with little to nothing in the way of support, etc.
Protect yourself and your children and trust your lawyer. If you don't feel comfortable w/the present one, there is no harm in getting a second opinion.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
