[SteveLW]

I think the emotional immaturity could be a thing. I really don't think she is looking for the next thing or looking for that thrill and excitement. Now if it found her, that would be different.

I've also noticed that her drinking has taken an uptick with about a half of bottle of wine every night - not sure how that factors in.

She also quit her job because she hated it a couple of months ago and I supported her, her boss was a jerk. And now she is really trying to figure out what she wants to do next. She wants to make a bit of a career change, so she is putting time into that. Just some additional details.

I did order No More Mr. Nice Guy after listening to a book review of it, parts of it sounded familiar and I thought, based on the reviews, it couldn't hurt.

I think you will get a lot of it. Even if you aren't full blown NGS, most of us guys, without realizing, have some aspects of NGS. I know I did.

Wow, it really does sound like your W is stuck in a rut. Could mean she is also in a bit of a depression. Has your MC ever suggested IC for her?

And your first paragraph is dead on. I truly believe very few Ss go out looking for an EA or PA. Heck, I can speak from experience as I've had a couple of EAs myself.....something I am ashamed of now. But in neither case did I go "Hmmm, maybe I will go find someone to be emotionally intimate with!" But when that started happening I did nothing to stop it. In happier times in my marriage, when the opportunity for an EA arose, I turned it down. So you are right to think that right now she is a ticking time-bomb for an EA or even a PA. So time is of the essence.

One thing I do want to challenge you on. I see you've claimed that you've tried everything in trying to improve. That is a dangerous attitude. We can ALWAYS improve. Self-improvement is not an item on a checklist that we check off. "Okay, done with that!" It is something we are constantly working. And another aspect is the motivation behind our self-improvement. If we are just self-improving to see if our spouse responds favorably, or to see if frequency of sex will go up, or for any other reason than wanting to be the best self we can be, well then we probably haven't really improved, have we?

So work on you......FOR YOU. Not for her. If she recognizes the positive changes and improves herself, great. But the goal should be to be the best ScottB you can be! Regardless of how others respond.