[SteveLW]

Well I’m sure Scotty B would love to hear the complex recipe as would I. How do you prevent her from doing whatever she wants? Sounds like control to me. How does he get her to have sex with him against her will? He could go to jail. How does her show her he’s not waiting around for her to figure her $hit out?

One of the best quotes I read on here was from Accuray who said he read the only way and healthy relationship can last long term is that both partners are willing to walk away if their needs aren’t being met and bother partners have to believe the other is willing to walk.

Something to think about.

This is an outstanding post with great probing questions. As always LH your insight is keen.

The complexity you are describing her is why it is a complex recipe. Obviously, I do not advocate rape. What I do advocate is reading sandi's extensive writings here on dealing with a WW. ScottB look for threads and responses from sandi. She was a WW herself. She knows best how to deal with them.

However, as stated before, I am not sure your W is still a WW. I think she is foundering. And I think you've done some things, and are held back by NGS in doing better things, that have her stuck in a rut.......as you are.

Now the good news. You are here. You are reading. You are in C. You are doing many things to get yourself to a better place! And you should stop and commend yourself for that. Because that is how we improve. So keep doing it. Trust the process. Be consistent. And most of all..................BE PATIENT. It sounds to me that you, like me, are devoutly religious. If so, and if I can presume you are a Christian, you know what God tells us about being longsuffering. In fact, most places in the NT were the word "patience" is used, a more appropriate translation from the original Greek would be "longsuffering".

And that word implies EXACTLY what it means........