HesAble, I was reading this last night and wanted to give you words of encouragement like cardinal did. But I couldn't muster it with out tearing up. I was having a rough day yesterday. It wasn't an anger day. It was more like hopelessness about the marriage and H. Honestly other than good days I prefer anger because I can swallow that or use it to motivate me. Tears I can't seem to hold back or use to push through. I'm having a better day too and I'm learning this stuff is like a 12 step program, everything is one day at a time. The unfortunate part is that one day in this place feels like an eternity.
I feel exactly the way you do. Beginning of October we were in the Caribbean loving each other and our lives. And now I have no idea which version of him I'm getting on what day. And now he says he wants to move out but set the date for April. I'd give anything for that old husband and some balance back in our lives.
