Let me ask you a question-- do you journal at all? I found journalling to be extremely helpful in my own sitch. It allows you to reflect on your progress, as well as on interactions with your W when they happen, and also to gauge what is and is not "working" both in terms of your own confidence and feeling good about yourself and, if it gets to that point, in terms of your W's positive and negative responses to you. Give it a try-- I did it daily. It helps you to get to the point where you, as Sandi2 says, are "doing what works." You want to do more of what "works" and less of what does not, and one of the best ways to figure that out is by trying different approaches, keeping track and reflecting.
Hope this helps... I think you are getting on the right track!
I do not journal but that makes perfect sense. I will start doing this to reflect however, I am going to "go dark". I don't think talking to her helps, I have been there and tried that for many months. Then I would discover her messaging him while in our room. For months I assumed it was just emotional and could tell in a way that she was talking to him because of information that she knew. Then I find out she went back to his home and they had sex 3 days before Christmas. This last discovery has really began to make me see her in a different way. As I looked at her last night at the game I began to feel disgusted. I have not yet had this feeling up until now. I am beginning to see that beauty means absolutely nothing and that i deserve better. I think the most important concept here is to get stronger and be more confident for myself so that I don't allow anyone to disrespect me. Self-respect brings confidence and attraction back to an individual.
