"Walking out of the Valley" 2.0

[joejoe1]

P,

[/quote] I will not allow her to talk about her day. etc............ [/quote]

ALLOW HER!!!! Listening to her talk about her day isn't a bad thing, it's a great moment to validate her feelings. But what you don't tolerate is her telling you about OM and their R. Her placing blame on you.

If you and her are in the kitchen together and she says, "Guess what happen today, I slipped and fell and hurt my butt" you can listen to that. You can validate that. "Oh, I sorry to hear you fell down, are you ok?". If she says, "Sandra said Mary was talking about Betsy, and she said Betsy eat paint". You can listen to that. But, if she says, " My day has been horrible, people are talking about me, and the OM". Cut bait and walk away. If she says, "I was having a hard day, the OM hasn't called me all day". Cut bait and walk away.

If she says, "I wish things were better in our M, if you would of did". In this scenario you can do one of two things IMO. You can validate, by saying, "I can see how you feel that way, but it takes two for the downfall of a M". If she gets defensive, you can say, "I respect the way you feel, and you need to respect the way I feel". If she continues with the blame. Cut bait and walk away. OR, you can just walk away when the blaming start.

I like the first option, because, It places a small nugget in her head, and shows her you are willing to stand up for yourself and not accept all the fault.

Joejoe