Your comments are really interesting. I agree that there needs to be a degree of understanding to address any behavior-- in fact, in my journalistic research and personal experience it often seems that unwillingness to probe for understanding (versus justifications) seems to prolong the behavior in question. I think that's part of what we're seeing culturally.
I find in daily life very few people who are willing to be honest with themselves and ask the hard questions of themselves. It's no coincidence that people are now making their living teaching the general public what it means to identify and structure your life around your values/what you believe in... it's as if, as a nation, we have forgotten how to do the very things we built our country on.
OK, I understand that I might be getting too big picture here, but it fascinates me.
I agree that traditional marriage is crumbling... but I think it's much more a result of creating a culture that doesn't serve our real needs as humans than a matter of biology. We've done some real damage to the idea of "community" as well. But that doesn't make it any less valid a concept, IMO. And what do we get... a nation where depression has become epidemic?
I guess what I find really interesting is this evaluation of "marriage" as a social entity apart from looking at it for what it actually is-- a serious committment between two people to each other.
That is what infidelity breaches most significantly-- why it can be so extraordinarily destructive-- it's a breach of trust at the most deep and profound levels-- the trust our S placed in us and trust we placed in ourselves.
Quote: Just look at our advertising and TV shows and the fast pace of our society... none of it supports caring for a LTR and remaining faithful to it during hard times.
This is so true! But TV and advertising are entirely driven by selling a product. When the shoe is on the other foot, most of us *want* the partner who will care for the LTR and be faithful during hard times. Even if we're not willing to be that person ourselves. What does that say about us as a culture?
Seems to me Andy Rooney's idea would be completely unnecessary if we chose to become self-actualized enough to actually communicate with our spouses through our marriage, and to look at our own positive & negative contributions to the relationship before we start pointing the finger at what our spouse needs to do for us.
I don't know. Guess I'm really getting more and more disheartened by a culture that I find increasingly narcissistic and focused on "ideals" that mean very little to me at the end of the day.
