My ex and I used to watch reality tv sometimes after dinner. There was one episode where a woman was reflecting on her divorce and she said, “the only thing worse than being married to a narcissist, is getting divorced to a narcissist.”
I vividly remember feeling like I knew exactly what she meant. I knew that if ex and I ever got divorced, it would be hel! At the time, it wasn’t an option.
Thank you to those who have contributed on my thread the last couple of days. I’m in a weird spot and it helps knowing I’m not alone.
Last edited by Pax_luv; 12/15/1903:01 AM.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
We are here for you. Your journey hasn't been an easy one and I can so relate to many of the things that have transpired throughout your journey. My journey wasn't a piece of cake either, just know, I'm in your corner and will be here throughout the last leg of your journey in MLC land.
Take the time to work things out in your heart and mind. If you are a weird spot, just sit quietly and the answers will come.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It’s the first time in 5 years that I’m genuinely not sad this season. In fact, im feeling pretty good and have a lot to be grateful for. Aside from that rediculous attempt at settling, this holiday season has been pretty magical. I’ve been fortunate to spend quality time with my family making traditional foods, I’ve hung out with friends and watched Christmas movies and walked around with the pup to look at Christmas lights. I’m baking cookies tomorrow with my mom and sister..... things are nice. I’m happy and glad to be an active participant in the festivities. It was too painful not th past. This process takes time and patience... I think it’s the best remedy in landing on our feet.
Wait! I take it back- I am sad that I won’t have my dog on Christmas since it’s lands on ex’s day. Ex doesn’t celebrate Christmas and while I want my dog... I know that even trying to do a date change wouldn’t fly with ex.
That’s ok, my dog had an awesome weekend leading up to Christmas and he was spoiled by everyone since they knew he wouldn’t be with us on Christmas. Yeahhh in my family.... the dogs are part of the family 100%.
One last dog story... I had mentioned before that I think ex is watching out the small glass window on the front door. I got more evidence this morning... I dropped the dog at the house this am. When ex opened the front door to let the dog in, the dog took a pause before walking in and ex nearly shut the door on him. I saw it happening so I was like “ahh dog!” And then ex had to reopen the door to actually let the dog in. Whatever he was looking at, he certainly wasn’t paying attention to the dog.
Enough pup stories for now. It’s a very festive week... I hope everyone enjoys the celebrations.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
I opted to stay home alone tonight for a solo Christmas Eve. It was surprisingly very nice and I enjoyed the quiet time. I actually worked for a few hours this morning and then joined my mom and sister in the afternoon where we made 5 different batches of Christmas cookies and 2 cakes. I’m looking forward to having Christmas cookies with coffee tomorrow which is one of my most favorite things.
I came home in the late afternoon and decided to make myself a nice dinner of seared scallops with steamed veggies and a glass of champagne. Again... no sadness.... it was actually quite the opposite. Progress! The lack of sadness/ depression catches me off guard sometimes.
I guess when you are in the thick of the mess, it feels like you are going to stay stuck in that emotional state forever. We know it’s not true, but it’s almost impossible to imagine feeling any other way. Thank goodness for time.... it all gets better in time.
However you choose to celebrate this holiday season, I wish you an abundance of joy and peace... today and every day.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Hello and happy new year! It’s been a busy few weeks and I haven’t spent much time reading here at all. Another sign of progress. Time to catch up.
I have nothing to report on my end. I’m popping in because I can’t sleep. I think I’m an innate night owl so when my schedule gets disrupted by staying up later than usual one single time, I automatically go back to that sweet spot of not being able to fall asleep past midnight or later. I blame New Year’s Eve for this one! My sleep hasn’t been the same since. Ahh well.
With a new year brings so much hope and potential. I’m pleased for a slight break in work, which allows me to strategize better for the year. I have one of those jobs where it feels impossible to take a time out and recalibrate mid year once the ball gets rolling. This year I’m being really mindful in my scheduling approach so I don’t burn myself out. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Whoops... Accidentally submitted too soon. That’s what happens when you’re posting horizontally! I edited it, but took too long so the changes didn’t stick. It’s ok... the musings weren’t important.
Hope you all have a lovely rest of the week.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Just got word that ex fired his old attorney and now has a new one. This is lawyer #3. Maybe you could count it as #4 since he represented himself first.
Here we go again. Actually I was surprised his old lawyer lasted this long... I thought ex was gonna fire him after ex was sanctioned the first time.
Meh.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
I am not surprised as some of them go through several, if not more lawyers, because they either do not like what the lawyers tell them or the lawyers finally get fed up and tell them to find someone else to represent them.
It will be interesting to see how long he has this one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
