My emotions are just all over the place today. Patience is not my greatest strength. This is one of the most challenging things I have dealt with. It is really a test of my faith and my fortitude.
I need to turn back to my GAL Project and keep working on getting my spunk back. Next up, making plans for Friday night. That will get my mind off all this stuff for a while. And also I need to finish up the DR book.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
I understand what you are saying about your emotions. You are going to have ups and downs for a while. Let's face it, you are very new to this rollercoaster and it takes a while to detach from all of his nonsense.
I generally was not a very patient person, but through my own experience I had to learn to be patient because I wanted things to be done very, very quickly. As I traveled my own path, I had to learn patient and I soon discovered that w/patience comes answers, answers that I needed not only about my xh, my financial situation, but also about myself. I had to learn to be a better listener and not to be a fixer all of time.
Now, it's time to get back to your GAL Project. Make plans for Friday night and just enjoy yourself. You will toughen up and be able to stand up for yourself w/o your emotions dictating how you react to his nonsense...but it's going to take time. Learn to be patient and kind to yourself....you are only human and if you need to cry or punch something, find a punching bag or beat the stuffing's out of a pillow.
You've got this!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am really fighting the urge to meet with a lawyer and just file for D at this point and it has only been 2-1/2 months past BD. I just want all this emotional pain to END...NOW!!!
Here’s is a quote from I think jack3beans, and I keep it on my personal quote book:
"when I was going through this, my mantra was
Today is not the day that I quit
Maybe I will quit tomorrow, yet I will wait to see what tomorrow brings
And another thing that drives me insane is when he comes in, after being MIA overnight, and is all jolly, smiling and laughing. That is beyond irritating. I guess whatever he was doing while out must have been quite exhilarating. So annoying. Meanwhile I am here trying to hold it together, keep the house running and make sure the kids are doing well. What a jerk.
Last edited by HesAble; 01/10/2003:37 AM.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
I am really fighting the urge to meet with a lawyer and just file for D at this point and it has only been 2-1/2 months past BD. I just want all this emotional pain to END...NOW!!!
Here’s is a quote from I think jack3beans, and I keep it on my personal quote book:
"when I was going through this, my mantra was
Today is not the day that I quit
Maybe I will quit tomorrow, yet I will wait to see what tomorrow brings
Then repeat that tomorrow”
Great quote. Thanks for sharing!
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
I understand what you are saying about your emotions. You are going to have ups and downs for a while. Let's face it, you are very new to this rollercoaster and it takes a while to detach from all of his nonsense.
I generally was not a very patient person, but through my own experience I had to learn to be patient because I wanted things to be done very, very quickly. As I traveled my own path, I had to learn patient and I soon discovered that w/patience comes answers, answers that I needed not only about my xh, my financial situation, but also about myself. I had to learn to be a better listener and not to be a fixer all of time.
Now, it's time to get back to your GAL Project. Make plans for Friday night and just enjoy yourself. You will toughen up and be able to stand up for yourself w/o your emotions dictating how you react to his nonsense...but it's going to take time. Learn to be patient and kind to yourself....you are only human and if you need to cry or punch something, find a punching bag or beat the stuffing's out of a pillow.
You've got this!
A punching bag would do me some good right now!!! I am so frustrated and angry this evening. *Inhale, exhale* *counting to ten slowly*
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
I am feeling frustrated and angry this evening too, HesAble. Let’s try to focus our minds on anything else and hope tomorrow will be a little bit better!
I am feeling frustrated and angry this evening too, HesAble. Let’s try to focus our minds on anything else and hope tomorrow will be a little bit better!
Happy Friday! Cardinal, thanks much for the encouragement. I am feeling better this a.m. Hope you are too.
This is just all so unbelievable. Just months ago, life was "normal" (not perfect but normal) and now my world has been flipped upside down by a Mad Man whose moods range from super happy to super sad/angry. I don't like either version of this Mad Man and just want my old H back. I know I may never see that person again and that is what makes this tough as well.
Last edited by HesAble; 01/10/2011:55 AM.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
HesAble, I was reading this last night and wanted to give you words of encouragement like cardinal did. But I couldn't muster it with out tearing up. I was having a rough day yesterday. It wasn't an anger day. It was more like hopelessness about the marriage and H. Honestly other than good days I prefer anger because I can swallow that or use it to motivate me. Tears I can't seem to hold back or use to push through. I'm having a better day too and I'm learning this stuff is like a 12 step program, everything is one day at a time. The unfortunate part is that one day in this place feels like an eternity.
I feel exactly the way you do. Beginning of October we were in the Caribbean loving each other and our lives. And now I have no idea which version of him I'm getting on what day. And now he says he wants to move out but set the date for April. I'd give anything for that old husband and some balance back in our lives.
HesAble, I was reading this last night and wanted to give you words of encouragement like cardinal did. But I couldn't muster it with out tearing up. I was having a rough day yesterday. It wasn't an anger day. It was more like hopelessness about the marriage and H. Honestly other than good days I prefer anger because I can swallow that or use it to motivate me. Tears I can't seem to hold back or use to push through. I'm having a better day too and I'm learning this stuff is like a 12 step program, everything is one day at a time. The unfortunate part is that one day in this place feels like an eternity.
I feel exactly the way you do. Beginning of October we were in the Caribbean loving each other and our lives. And now I have no idea which version of him I'm getting on what day. And now he says he wants to move out but set the date for April. I'd give anything for that old husband and some balance back in our lives.
Hang in there. You are right - one bad day in this nightmare can feel like an eternity. I am just trying to focus hard on my kids, 180ing and GALing, but some days are just so emotional that I absolutely cannot do anything but have a pity party. On angry days, I want to shout and scream at H, "Snap out it, you narcissistic jerk!"
The holidays were rough, particularly New Year's, and I can only imagine what Valentine's Day and our anniversary will be like. I am probably going to go ahead and book some weekend trips for me and the kids. H will not be extended an invitation, not that he even wants one. He would rather be at home so he can hang out all night until 7 a.m. It just outrages me!
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
