I am really fighting the urge to meet with a lawyer and just file for D at this point and it has only been 2-1/2 months past BD. I just want all this emotional pain to END...NOW!!! Those of you who have learned to patiently wait for many months or even years get a whole lot respect and admiration from me. I am starting to feel weak. I want to save my family, but I am starting to wonder if being exposed to H's staying out all night, living in the basement, going from being a very affectionate H to not showing any public affection to me in front of kids, etc. might be just as damaging as a D would be.
Lord give me strength...
While my H did immediately move out after BD, I think there are pros and cons to IHS vs S. Sometimes I think being left alone is just as damaging, and I know H isn't in a mindset where he can even acknowledge or process that.
I'm also about 2.5 months after BD, and while there aren't a ton of similarities in what happened with my H and your situation, I will say, this has been an interesting exercise in patience (my biggest character weakness by far). Something that's helped me is trying to validate when I can be, and learn to be compassionate for my H. They're lost, too. It helps me also take stuff less personally. That makes the distance feel somewhat less damaging. It doesn't make me feel grand that H is also miserable during this time, but it at minimum gives some perspective.
