Steve, you clearly would've been right. But he was a different man with me than the 20 something version of himself. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous and so child like. However, his family and his friends said and say so. He was an adult responsible version of himself they hadn't really seen before. So I naively accepted that I was special or different. And the fact that I was the longest relationship he had ever been in made me think that was true until it wasn't
As far as deserves. Prior to all this, he was my best friend. He was the yang to my yin. He felt like home immediately. We have similar up bringing. Similar interests but not to similar so that we could enjoy things together and apart and open each others mind. Similar work ethic. What I thought were similar goals and values. It all fell into place like it was always supposed to be this way. I honestly kept pulling away in the beginning because it made me nervous how easy everything was when I knew how problematic he could be. He pursued me in a way no other man had. When we got serious he was my partner and was my equal in our home. We carried everything together. Honestly at home he still carries his weight. 50/50 with out me asking. I mean I guess those are reasons why I still love him and why I think he deserves me to wait him out a bit. But why he still deserves me. I don't know. The person who left work, picked up my daughter and drove 4 hours to be by my side while my mother took her last breath deserves me. This person that I'm living with right now, the person that lies, and runs, and imploded our lives because he felt unfulfilled and won't even make a half hearted attempt at saving our marriage, I don't know that that guy deserves me at all.
