Perhaps you're right. I made my mind up about you too early. But, I read your posts on another thread about why you are obvious about your A and wanting to make your W the villain.
That's emotional/mental abuse, WC. Stop it. It's very passive aggressive behavior and you need to confront what it is you are doing wrong.
There have been posters here who have had As and tried to repair their marraige. D and then going to look for "true" love is dangerous to you in the long run. I can probably recite from memory every line, every evasive maneuver, every piece of bs you can dish out to justify what you are doing -- to spin the wrong into making your W look the villain. However, what we do that -- attempt to lie and avoid to make the spouse look the villain while you are the victim -- is very harmful. I was married to a guy like this. This is why we are divorced. This is not to say your W hasn't contributed to the problems in your M. It is saying that you need to own up to your own problems in that M.
How can you expect to have a good, healthy, R -- "true" love -- if you feel you must hide yourself through lies and avoidance?
For your own sake, come clean with your W. See a C, talk to someone, pick up a copy of DR and read it. Do something that is positive instead of negative. You really are feeling sorry for yourself here.
Others have given you some really good insight here. Please read it. What brings two together at the start of an R... the passion, attraction... is by design. However, what keeps you together -- "true" love -- is commitment and compassion.
What Leena pointed out is true. My ex was so "in love" with his OW that he couldn't live without her. It's a terrible relationship. I think of it as the old Aretha Franklin song -- "who's zooming who." They manipulate, lie, and bs each other now. Further, she never divorced her H even though she's shacked up with my ex. They're both emotional messes. So, for your own sake, learn from the experiences posted on this board.
