wc I am going to try and help you here you stopped by my post recently and asked me a question about what my husband had said because you did not want to make same mistake. A lot has happened since, much of which I have not had opportunity to update. My sitch is very similar to yours almost exact. My H and I did not have much passion in begining and I did gain a little weight etc. But I am going to tell you that it is a joke about this passion issue, I too once had an affair with married man and it was unbelievable. But the bottom line was that sneaking and that was the huge turn on for both, when he sep it fizzled after awhile. Our r lasted 3 1/2 yrs after D. That passion is derived more often than not from the fantasy of what will be than what will actually be. Now for my H sitch. He did move out and for most part has been with OW who incidently is also M. He in last 2 weeks has been spending most of his spare time with me and at our home. He admitted that the fantasy of being together with OW full time and the reality were greatly different. Yes I have lost 20+ lbs, been going out, tanning and dating and it has driven H crazy. The truth be told we have not had a sex life for long time to speak of. He very much believed you either have passion with someone or not. Needless to say he has now addmitted that he wants to see where our R will go from here.
So I do agree with most that you are infact being selfish and self centered 2 things my H now will agree with that he has been. You have asked people who are very much in pain to try and understand the very thing that has hurt them and torn their life apart. You really do need to look at yourself at this point. Oh and by the way the OW made many promises to my H so he would sep and has now not come thru with any of them.
