Mine is the opposite. I have no kids. The OW does. I thnk that was a deciding factor in her remarrying her ex. Did he feel the same as you? I feel we still have a chance to be together as cazy as that may snd. Maybe Im just a romantic. But I cant beleive that every single affair ends up as an illusion
Your not doing your W any favors dude. Be honest with her now so she can go find someone who will really love her and be with her only. The 2 of you lying, cheating slugs can crawl into a hole with each other. Who are you to expose your W to this heartbreak? BE a man and be honest with your W and be honest with yourself. Let your W go so she can find someone who will really love her and be honest with her. Its obvious you don't have the backbone or the moral clarity to do it yourself! Poeple who are of weak mind and spirit will always have turmoil in their lives.. Rondo
with a name like rondo ur probably single. And I did explain my feelings to my W not bout the affair but the fact I didnt feel the same for her. When I was ready to leave I stayed cause I feared she would hurt herself physically. So stop being an AH and try to figure me out. You have no idea who I am or what mental anguish Im going thru
this smacks of a troll, but I have to ask - do you want to be with your W or OW? If OW, what's your reason for staying? If W, why are you messing around with OW?
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
Who are you kidding wc? Most of the folks here are trying to save their marriages. You come here and say "I want to be with OW but W won't let me" Boo hoo. You sound like a high school kid. You have a problem all right. Its you! #1. You cheated on your W. #2. Your cheating with a married woman and want to be with her and keep flirting with her even after she said to cool it. All you write about is your needs to be with her. What about your W's needs? She sure as hell does not need her H sticking it to another woman than coming home to her!
Are we supposed to feel sorry for you? I have some advice, take it or leave it. Ask your W for foregiveness and than tell her you need a D. Than handle the fallout after that. Your a big boy. Than tell your LF to take a hike until you get your *&*^ together.
BTW, what is your mental anguish from? I see 2 selfish people with no regard of anyone else's feelings. Rondo
You're simply looking for sympathy. I don't think you're going to find it here. You have no empathy for your own W and no clue what you are even doing to yourself. Rondo hit it on the head with the moral clarity statement. Fish or cut bait. It's not complicated. You are screwing around on your W, you're lying and cheating, and it's your life you're ultimately screwing up. Read the stories around this board... I'll point you to a few who had to deal with the fallout from this kind of bs. It sounds like you're only attracted by the excitement of it all. Sorry to say this, but 99% of all affairs do end badly. And they maul nearly as many Ms. There comes a time in any R when you have to choose to love your partner. Even if by chance your A works out into a long term relationship, there will come a day you wake up and look at her and the initial attraction ain't there. And what kind of commitment can you and OW expect out of each other once the excitement and attraction go away? Doesn't seem as if there's much to base a relationship on. Grow up! Like Rondo, I wonder your age. Pretty hard reading your posts with the new-agey techno-English.
Strange... I haven't picked up a really good 2X4 in ages
Listen Im not gonna respond to ne. It seems you have already made up ur mind of me. I had an affair granted. I had it cause I was looking for what i missed at home. Im not looking for sympathy... we all want true love and when we thnk we find we go aFTER IT. My rela with W may end soon. And maybe even the A also. But it dones tmean I will give up looking. Adios
Quote: I had an affair granted. I had it cause I was looking for what i missed at home.
If you a lacking something at home. Why don't you look inside yourslef to find what it is. Don't look to W or OW for Happinees because you won't find it.
After I got H with his OW I reziled I am the one to look towards when something is missing. If it is not feelling like I am love, I learned to love myself. If it was because we wasn't speending time together I tought of things to do. If H didn't want to do them fine I can have fun by myslef.
Quote: we all want true love and when we thnk we find we go aFTER IT.
Yes we all want love, But true love is just a silly dream. It is an excuse for what you did. You need to face the facts that life is hard, and love is something you have to work hard at or it will slip form your fingers.
You need to ask yourself why you had the affair instead of fixing what you felt was wroung with the M.
And You are in the wrong place if you want to hear that the affair is okay. Because mostly you will hear what a JACK*** you are to your wife.
The one thing that I would love to know is what makes anyone think that an Affair is the answer to a M. What makes someone sleep around on the one that the proimosed to love until death to we part.
You say that you care for your wife but You don't love her. Well bub, noone can feel love 24/7. Everyone one falls out of love. The diffince is that me and the rest here choose to find and fight for the love back.
What the heck is so complicated about your affair? sounds pretty typical to me.
I do have to wonder about a post you made on anothers thread pondering why their spouse was being so obvios about their affair being that they (like you) want to get caught and kicked out so as not to be viewed as "the bad guy". Sounds pretty lame to me but then again it also sounds pretty typical.
Why do you think your w would fall apart if you were honest about your dishonesty and proceeded to set her free? I'll also let you know that sounds pretty typical too.
What did you hope to gain in comming to this site meant for saving marriages when you have no desire at all to save yours?
Why do you care at all what happens to your w? why would that concern not keep you from deceiving her so?
Why did you marry your w?
What attracted you to your w?
What attracted you to ow?
How do you feel about your w being with other men?
How do you feel about ow being with other men?
What other than w's weight changed in your relationship with her. (please tell me you are not so shallow that a little weight gain is your only cause)
I will tell you that the way you describe your r with ow as being something different than any you've had before is also common. You may take what I and others here say to you as being ignorant or snide but we've lived and read alot on the subject and know.
You are in for a long ride and I suggest you get out of the car and go back in the other direction. As long as you are lusting after OW, you will not feel anything for W. Go cold turkey and let her go or do your W a favor and let her go.You need to pick up some good relationship books. Start with Divorce Remedy!
