Unfortunately I know your situation to well and I was gonna comment before on your thread but then you disappeared. I had a feeling you would be back.
I will give you my opinion. Your W is emotionally immature. She had the EA 4 years ago and got addicted to the high. After coming down from the high and as time goes by she is looking for that high again. She can’t get it from you because she’s been with you for so long and it’s not secretive or dangerous. She’s too emotionally immature to know where your relationship is at right now. Secure, safe, predictable stable. That’s not exciting.
My ex did the same thing after her brief ea. We reconciled for two years where things looked normal on the outside but internally she was still looking for the high. She eventually filed and a year and a half later she’s still doing the same thing. Started dated a loser friend of my friend and hid it from me for awhile probably to feed off the secretive rush. It’s pathetic really because he’s half the man that I am. Everyone has lost respect for her including myself.
Only you can decide how long you’ll put up with it. I can tell you there are lots of woman out there who would give anything to date a guy like you if your honest about your assessment of yourself. It’s tough man I know I lived it for almost as long as you.
There’s an old poster “Accuray” who went through the same thing. His posts are pure gold and should be sold in a book.
