You are not alone in your feelings and doubts. We all have/had them.
You are correct it takes time to accept this on an emotional level. Acceptance is emotional understanding. And we all need a certain level of understanding before we can let go.
Something for you to find understanding with, and completely within your control: Hoping, hoping, hoping does not need to be tied to positive actions by H. In fact it shouldn’t be. That would be expectations and that will kill hope.
Hope is your’s! It lives within you! No one, and I mean NO ONE! ever gets to kill your hope. Don’t let anyone take away your hope.
Hope is desire. Good, sincere, desires. Hope lives in the possibilities of the unknown future. It has no time frame nor deadline.
One can get lost in hopeful fantasy. However, that is more a living in denial thing.
You can hope, and move forward.
Have a great day.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
