Stranger In My House

[HesAble]

I don't have any advice offerings. My BD was a year and a half ago. We reconciled at the end of 2018. I haven't read your whole sitch, only the beginning and the end of this thread. The beginning sounds very similar to mine minus the infidelity.
He is also a very angry/negative person etc.

He immediately moved out post BD. We occasionally ML until I read some advice that it was definitely bad and it started making me feel worse when I did. He was angry but I was clear I would not be his friend with benefits. Probably month 4-5 post BD he started showing clear signs of more than temp checking, he asked me why I wasn't chasing him and did I still love him, do I even care anymore etc. Then one day out of the blue, mid month 5-ish, I get a text that just said "I love you!". A week later he asked to take me on a date, a week later he begged to take me on a date. I finally agreed. (I sent him a letter with all my requirements blah, blah)

Anyhow, when he asked to reconcile he stated he thought I was the reason for his unhappiness and he realized that all the problems he had were still there. That he should have loved me more, taken me on more dates. I'm just posting that there is hope. I don't think the ML changed my situation either way, idk. The grass wasn't greener.

Things are still really hard as I changed so much during that time and he is really struggling to be different. The things you mentioned such as household chores and general respect and love are still missing. Focus on you and whatever happens will be the best outcome either way.

Also, he was super annoyed and made comments throughout our separation about my GAL activities. He was really bothered that I didn't sit at home and actually started having a life outside of my house chores and kids.

Thanks for sharing your experience. It is always good to read about folks who were able to get through this. I am just doing my best not to get back on H's emotional roller coaster ride. He seems so confused. Some days I see a glimpse of the old H and then hours later he is right back to the new narcissistic H. Many times like this morning I have considered just throwing in the towel.