It went about as poorly and well as I anticipated. He wants to move out in April. There’s nothing left in the marriage to save. He’s not in love with me any more. And he can’t invest himself in this relationship. I said I understand he feels that way and I’m sorry that he feels so desperately that he needs out. And that, that isn’t under pretty much any circumstances what I would want, but I can’t make him love me or stay. When I further inquired about his plan to set up a second household for him and his daughter I got a very deer in the headlights look. Followed by well I’ll put a deposit down on an apartment. When I asked where he’d sleep and where they’d sit, blank stare. “I’ll figure it out.” Ok. So I follow up with ok so if you leave in April what’s the time line you were thinking about filing? And are you thinking divorce or legal separation? Deer in the head lights. “Can we maybe think about that after I move out?” I tell him sure absolutely. I informed him that I will do my best to keep this amicable and assist in dividing things in the household but I’m not planning his leaving me and he needs to figure this out in detail if this is what he wants. I’m not A typing myself all over him walking away from the marriage. He said he understood. He also said he doesn’t want to set a date just yet to talk to the girls about moving out. Maybe when he’s ready to start dividing things up. I also told him that I’ve been putting things in motion in my life to be able to live with out him but I won’t be solvent in maintaining where we live until June of this year (a raise and some other things line up at that time) so if he’s leaving in April I’d need some, not a ton of assistance in April and May. He was not happy. I said you are choosing to leave me. I’m not trying to blackmail you but I’m not putting myself out because of the arbitrary timeline you’ve created. I’m not asking you stay until June. I’m asking that if you want to go before I can afford it that you do the right thing.
I know not every thing I said was above board DB wise but I kept my emotions in check and my wits about me so fit me that was a win.
I want to be mad and cry. But I can’t. I just feel annoyed and inconvenienced. I don’t know if I’m telling myself it won’t happen because it’s so far out. Or if I really am just not emotionally invested in him staying here infinitely doing whatever he wants when he wants.
