Sandi2, thanks for your post. You asked what I am seeking by being intimate with him. Well, for one thing, although touch is not my love language necessarily, I enjoy being intimate with him and it meets my needs. When I go weeks without sex, I become irritable and grumpy. Sad but true.
Second, physical touch is his love language. He has always had a HD and I feel like I rejected him way too much before BD. I was always tired from working all day then dealing with kids and chores, so I often shrugged him off when he showed interest in sex late at night. Part of me feels like showing interest in sex when he initiates may be part of my 180. I try not to have expectations but I don't want to push him farther away by rejecting him now as I did pre-BD. Also, it may sound silly but he doesn't seem as angry when we have been intimate. Living with an angry person even when they are in the basement is extra stressful. Dealing with the marital problems is enough without adding in a huge dose of anger.
So...part of the reason I do it is selfish and the other part is probably just foolish and wishful.
Last edited by HesAble; 01/09/2004:15 AM.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
