You are currently on moderation and it would help the moderators and administrators if you would create a thread of your own. By doing so, we can learn a bit more about you and your situation which will help us in determining whether to release you from moderation much quicker.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.