Still married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Man I´ve been feeling down for a while lately. I was doing quite well for a while but there´s a feeling of loneliness that I can´t shake off lately

I have some of the best GAL opportunities anyone could ask for and it most definitely helps to travel the way I do. But when I´m home again and it´s just me, I often feel lonely. Not quite sad but not happy either. I feel a huge responsibility for my dog and have to make sure he´s had his exercise. If I don´t, if I feel he´s been bored, it stresses me so I have to make sure he´s happy when I´m with him.

I have plenty of things planned. This weekend for example I´m travelling to Copenhagen with a friend, we managed to secure a reservation at a restaurant that´s very difficult to book. I know that will be fun of course but after that, when I come home on Sunday and pick up my dog, we go home and we´re just alone again...it just feels so lonely.

Dating hasn´t gone well at all. Besides the two girls I met a few times I also met a third girl who turned out to be very unstable, stalker warning is a good way of describing her so I ended it quickly. So far I haven´t met a single girl of the ones I´ve actually felt really attracted to. If we match, they either don´t write or answer when I write and when we do chat a bit they stop writing after a while. I know the best way to meet someone would be IRL but all my friends I used to go out with have kids now. At the moment, I´m not sure how I´m going to meet my next relationship. I know I won´t be single forever, I just can´t picture who that person will be since online dating seems to be way more difficult than I expected.

I´ve made plans with friends but they´re all months from now because that´s how we need to do it these days. A weekend in April etc etc.

Haven´t heard from STBXW at all with the exception of her letting me know she returned the keys for the rental apartment a few weeks ago. Plenty of her boxes are still here and she was supposed to pick them up this month so we´ll see if that happens.

I spent Christmas with my family but decided to just stay home for NYE with my dog. I thought it would be ok but never doing that again. I knew this would be the first NYE spent without W in 10 years but I also realized that this would be the first time ever I´m alone. At midnight I could hear all the neighbours so yeah, not a good idea. Next year I´ll make plans for sure.

Anyway, just venting here and not expecting any advice. I know what I have to do and all. I haven´t stopped working out and I still eat a healthy diet so I look great. Would just be nice to have more to do besides work and taking care of my dog.

And thanks Job!