Unchien you are separated from and about to divorce the same woman I separated from and divorced.
You're not divorced yet. I'm a bit ahead of you in this process.
Let's pretend I'm absolutely right, and let me tell you what is going to happen next.
Your wife is happy in her new fantasy world where she raises the kids without you. You'll go off, sulk for a while and do your thing. She's confident you'll get on with life without your family as it was, and accept how it is and will be forever.
But you'll realize you deserve more. That you deserve to raise your kids 50% of the time, even if at least to make sure they develop your value system and have some balance to hers. You realize you deserve to protect your assets financially.
So in a few weeks (maybe months) you're going to hire a lawyer to make things fair. You're going to draft a separation agreement that defines custody and financial support. Maybe not even file for divorce. Leave that to her and just file for the separation. You ARE separated right? Make her get the divorce.
She's going to read the separation agreement where you ask for 50% custody and fair financial terms. She's going to change.
SHE thinks she's being reasonable and you're delusional. RIGHT NOW. Imagine how she's going to feel and act when you try to move the need to what you think is fair?
Not only is she going to paint you out as the most evil person in the world (yes, to your kids even), she's going take this to court because the only way she can win what SHE thinks is fair is to have a judge learn what a horrible person you are and keep the custody as it has been. As YOU have allowed and asked from from the beginning.
You gave away everything in a bid to keep the peace and have her consider reconciliation. You had no idea she was planning this for years and just happy to get you out of the fricking house.
You have no clue how little you mean to her, and how little desire she has for you to raise your own children. But you're about to find out.
The kicker? She's going to seek a move-away. He'll she can do it now. You don't even have a legal agreement that prevents her from doing that.
This is going to get hyper-expensive. The cheapest thing you can do is start spending money now because when it is over in a few years, you can start to re-build.
My advice is to hire the very best (possibly most expensive) lawyer you can find. Call the top 5 firms in the area. Top 10 for a free consult so you force them to conflict-out of representing her. Then hire the best. You will sleep at night when this ramps up, and a good $800/hour lawyer is going to be a lot cheaper than a bad $400/hour lawyer in the long run.
