They can be as cold as ice and it's their way of letting us know not to come any closer and that they are done. Here's the deal, you can't fix her, but you can fix yourself. Focus on you and your children...okay?
I'm going out on a limb and give you this wee bit of advice, if you find something isn't working, try something different. For example, if she's not interested in small talk, so keep your talks about the children and finances and anything of an emergency nature. When she discovers that you are giving her that almighty space and time she needs, trust me, she will eventually talk to you, but it may be in spurts for a bit. If, and when, she does talk to you, listen...but don't be too quick in attempting to drum up conversations because she may very well go right back into deep freeze again. Follow her lead on the talks for a bit.
Trust the system...it truly works. DB is not just for saving your marriage, but it is also a way to help you save yourself and become the man or woman that the posters should be. It helps you rediscover the person you once were and helps you find a way to become that person who is happy within himself/herself. Posters learn new ways to communicate and interact w/others. It can also be used in your day-to day life each and every day.
Stay positive, breathe and try to remember...Rome wasn't built in a day and what has happened over the years cannot be fixed in a few short days. Think marathon, not sprint.
Keep the focus on you and your kids.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
