I think you are doing very well. You are thinking with your head and know that the finances are a totally separate issue from what your heart is telling you. You do not need a piece of paper to move on, but it is necessary to have that piece of paper to ensure that your assets/finances are safe and secure.
It is true that "forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to discover that the prisoner was you". Forgiveness is very difficult to come by after being hit w/a BD and then the behavior of our spouses tends to make us question ourselves and the marriages that have been destroyed. However, as we travel our on paths to discovery, we learn more about ourselves because we have to become independent again, learn how to deal w/life as a single person/parent and yes, be both parents while our spouses are out in La La Land.
Along the way, we encourage the posters to release that anger and try not to hold on to it because it takes far more energy than to release it. It takes time to do this and then slowly, but surely, we learn that the only way to release all of those feelings is to forgive. Forgiveness does set us free just as the truth will set you free. No one says that you will forget the experiences that we have encountered...just forgive.
Grace, I look forward to reading your postings because each and every time I do, I see growth and you are becoming wiser by the day... and the one thing that I am impressed about you is that you are willing to lay it all out there in your postings. Grace, you are a survivor and I am very proud of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
