Hey Sandy I think you may have missed some information. We have been married short of 3 years and together for 7. I did know him before actually for a while we were friends for a few years before we ever started dating. 2 single parents who never were single single at the same time. And then it happened and we clicked. however if there was a specific trigger, I couldn't tell you. My mother died at the age of 54 in 2018. He'd never been that close to death before. He had his 15th anniversary at his job this fall. He can't keep weight off like he used to. Our kids are very close to leaving the nest. We each had our kids super young so even though we're in our mid to late 30s we're behind on life and I've been pushing to be less behind. More saving. Looking for homes. Retirement financial planning. That kind of stuff.
He is an attention seeker, period. Women, men, every one. He wants everyone to like him and find him entertaining and good company.
He did not ask for an open marriage. I did. And I did so because it truly is an option.Even if I wasn't 100% serious about it when I suggested it. I mostly suggested it to see where he was at. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with that. He was very clear that me being touched by any one else while we were married was unacceptable. Granted he's allowed to come and go as he pleases....
I've been through DR and all of the newbie links. I read fervently because it's the only real control I have over any of this. I've been struggling with detachment but I've been doing relatively well with it with a few hurdles. And doubling down on my 180 and GALing.
Honestly I'm wondering if this "talk" has come out of the wood work because I have been living my life. I have been giving him the space he wants, not asking questions about where he is or what he's doing. I don't reach out unless a kid needs a ride or household business. I don't complain preach or ask for much of anything unless it's something I absolutely can't accomplish on my own.
