"Walking out of the Valley" 2.0

[hoosjim]

They also want to go to counseling to "check the box" and to show to other people that "they did everytihing they could to save the marriage". It is a VERY selfish desire and has nothing to do with you or with benefitiing the family or the MR. It's all part of her exit strategy because she wants people to like her and not see her as the low-down cheater that she is once this is all said and done. My wife was in a very similar place right after she hit me with the initial BD (in the space before i became a regular poster here). Very much wanted to find a counselor, any counselor, to "help us find a way forward" and "see if we should even be together" is, I think, the way she put it. Nothing about working on our MR or being dedicated to saving it. If she ever does "turn", one of the signs will be the way she talks about MC-ing and her willingness to undertake it explcitly and unreservedly as a means to save the MR. Right now, yours is obviously nowhere near that. She's still scheming to be with OM.