Clubbed over the head with 2x4s. Thank you for this. I don't know where to begin. This came in time as I almost resorted to snooping again. That person is not what I want to be or ever wanted to be. Snooping is a moral line I never wanted to cross, and I agree that I'm to blame for crossing my own line. If I found any new evidence, the little peace I have now would be shattered.
And now that you "know" , you can't use it as an excuse again....
Originally Posted by Core
Some of this is hard to hear but needed. Prime example is me blaming her for how she makes me feel or her making me take actions. That's been behind a number of conflicts during the course of the marriage. Lots of NGS on my end. Easier to blame her than control and be accountable my actions.
NGS, or whatever you want to call it is fairly common in a relationship. I have to come to find that there is a high percentage that is necessary in a relationship.
We Men want to eat meat, have sex, drink beer and be treated as if we are the king of the world. But even as we have evolved as people, there is still the primate in us all.
I think that it goes back to how we CHOOSE to be daily. And finding that balance between the bravado and the softer side of us. Realizing that a Man can be completely barbaric and incredibly emasculated at the same time ??
Maybe...
How can you make that dynamic different ?
Originally Posted by Core
As much as I think I am the solid foundation of a new relationship, whomever that may be with, you, Steve, Mario, U, Ovr, Job, AS, R2C and the others generously giving feedback have rocked me, in a good way.
Sometimes you have to start climbing the ladder from the bottom rung...
Originally Posted by Core
The challenge now is the high number of things to work on and self improve. I had no idea how broken I became. All with due time I suppose. Almost paralyzing looking at my changes to implement and hold for life.
I would venture that you aren't totally broken...
Just a little out of sorts, and confused on what, where, when, and why you are doing what you do...
Try to not look at this as being broken, but as an opportunity to become anew...
Originally Posted by Core
Your comment about WHO I am versus WHAT I am...I don't know if I even know who I am. My mind is blown from the BD and now the DB. Its like I've been carpet bombed and am rebuilding amongst the devastation. Pieces are everywhere. Thank you for getting me thinking.
Start small. One day at a time, one hour at a time....one minute at a time if you need be...
I started with a list of qualities that I want to SHOW the world everyday, regardless of what was being shown to me or what was going on around me...
