I cheated, we survived, now my wife's cheating

[JC08]

So last night she wanted to come by and tell the girls bye before leaving for 10 days. I felt like she could have picked them up from school and seen them before I got off work and felt it was disrespectful to come to my house and tell the kids bye in front of me so she could go on a trip with the OM. But I allowed her to, I excused myself outside and waited around while she told them bye. When she left she had to make the usual comments about is this how's it going to be? After 16 years we aren't going to talk and be friends, we are just throwing that all away? I just responded, no it doesn't have to be this way, but this is your decision to divorce not mine and that is what divorce is. She pretty much responded that the OM and his ex-wife get along great and are still best friends and she doesn't understand why I can't be that way. My response was because I don't just want scraps of you or our relationship and then went in the house and she left.

Hopefully after this trip and with the holidays being over there will be fewer personal interactions. The personal interactions leave me hanging onto hope that currently isn't there. The next thing I need to tackle after she gets back is telling her that there is no need to sit by me at basketball games for our daughter.

Last Saturday she can up and sat down beside me and acted like nothing was different between us, at one point she turned around to talk to someone and put her hand on my knee to turn around. My friend I was sitting next to called me after the game and couldn't believe the way she acts, like you can't tell we are divorcing and living apart the way she acts. Don't get me wrong I love her but that situation [censored], makes me anxious and uneasy, let alone her constantly texting, which she never did before the OM. We are not together, so why act like everything is normal between us?

Why does she act this way? If I was so horrible to be married to and our marriage wasn't worth working through our problems, then why want to be friends and act like everything is normal between us except we are divorced? It's confusing to me, it frustrates me to no end, and it makes it incredibly difficult to detach. I guess my idea is if you want a divorce then we have business to deal with concerning kids and that is it. If you want me in your life in another capacity then you need to work on our marriage, otherwise there can't be anything else. And her response to anything like this is always the same, you just hate me, I'm not a horrible person, why can't we still be friends and involved in each others lives?!