The experts and readings of mlc always said that with time answers will reveal themselves. Slowly but surely they are. The last month was not good. I thought things were improving but then she seemed more depressed and withdrawn than ever. The Christmas holidays were rough, but then came New Years and she started to come back around. The last week has been great. This is one heck of a rollercoaster. During Christmas I talked to her sister, she told me that my wife has really low self esteem despite what people may see or think. I never really thought this but I do understand where this is coming from based on her upbringing. The other information is my wife is still extremely scared of mortality. She keeps researching cures for cancer and ways to combat aging and death. It's amazing how all of this screams what is written about midlife depression.
I worry that my wife needs to talk to somebody about this and I wish I could encourage, but I have done really well at detaching and not discussing anything related to our situation.
The other thing is that my wife is trying to reconnect and has even suggested going on a date - Movie / Dinner. I know she wants to have feelings for me but currently doesn't. I worry that we go on the date and she most likely will still have numb feelings. I'm not going to say no obviously but I struggle daily with how to treat my wife. I've been DB for a year now, we go through the pursuit / distance game constantly. I try to live by Sandi's rules but constantly feel like I am coming across as too cold and distant. Basically I follow her lead and mirror how she treats me.
Any advice and suggestions is more than appreciated.
