Here we go again

[Ready2Change]

One of the books I read spoke of love and respect. Paraphrasing here, but It is the mans job to love his woman. It is the woman's job to respect her man. Kinda Yin/Yang thing. Respect her, but love her more.


You are in triage. No one thing is going to turn this around. The one thing that has the best chance is taking a hard look at yourself. Decided what you want to change, then change. You do not do this to manipulate your wife into "coming back". You do it because it is the right thing to do.

We have no idea who you are or what has went on between you and your W. There are just repeating patterns of behavior that many of us have lived or observed.

Change your behavior and the way you interact with your W changes the relationship. That still does not mean she will stay married to you. But every little thing you do to make those interactions in alignment with your core values will make you feel better.


Ultimately, this is about you and how you want to live your life. I agree that the MBR is just a tiny drop in this. Do you want out of the marriage? If the answer is no, then you stand for it. If the answer is yes, then the next question is do you want to stay in the house? If the answer is yes, you stay. If the answer is no, then you have to decide if you want to be an active parent. If the answer is yes, you need to come to an agreement with your W. If the answer is no, then find a new place to live. I can keep going but I hope you understand. Same goes for your W. She has to make all of these decisions. She does not need you asking these questions. That is pressure. Love her enough to set her free if she makes these choices.

Forgiveness is critically important through this process. Forgive yourself. Forgive her. Forgive yourself some more. Do this daily if needed.