Thank you both. May, those words helped me a lot. I tried to keep them in my mind.
That was awful. H was very business like, and wanted to discuss finances and custody. We talked about it some, he put out some proposals and I responded. He is now taking the stance that he just wants to get this wrapped up, it’s been dragging on and he just wants to move forward because he feels stuck, and that the only reason this divorce hasn’t progressed at all is because he was procrastinating. He’s pretending the last big talk in November in which he wavered, and the 2 months since just didn’t happen. It’s infuriating and gut wrenching and just so confusing. I resisted the urge to push to him on it, and didn’t bring up the last big R talk. That was difficult. I mostly just listened and responded, I got a little frustrated a few times but kept it calm. I cried several times, but I kept my composure. It feels like he’s compartmentalized everything, and seemed cold and business like. At the end he apologized for hurting me and gave me an awkward hug and thanked me for talking. Right now I’m really struggling with just not addressing the confusion he expressed. It feels so unfair and a bit insane. It’s so painful and incomprehensible. I’m so confused right now. It’s a total mind f***k. I’m fighting the urge to try to reason with him and convince him and get emotional with him. I won’t do it, of course.
