Thank you May. I’d love to read sandis advice re: loving detachment, if you have the time to find and post it here
I didn’t respond to H’s text. Later I’m the day D4 wanted to text him (she often uses voice dictation to text whichever of us she isn’t with) so I let her and he responded to her. I reminded him to drop off something he had of D4s that she needed for preschool. Later in the evening he texted me to say he’d dropped it off and where it was and that he hadn’t come in because it was so close to bedtime and didn’t want to disrupt. He added “we’ll talk about things tomorrow ok?”
This was strange because over this entire time, whenever he drops something off for D4 he never comes in if it’s not his day with her. He went out of his way to text this. I think he was fishing for me to respond kindly and be “normal” to assuage his anxiety and guilt. I didn’t respond to that either. I’m working on gathering my strength and poise for tonight. I’m still not sure what my best approach is, but I’m working on being calm and trying not to cry a lot. Ugh
