Are you the least bit interested in perhaps getting your marriage back on track? Is your wife seeking therapy? I take it you feel you can be more exploratory with the OW right? She is uninhibited, yes? That is what draws you to her ultimately?
What is so unattractive about your wife? Is she boring, non sexual, overweight, does she snore? You must have a laundry list. I only ask because with any relationship no matter how good there is always a falling in and out of love. If your mind is set on getting out not much can be said. I urge you to look within yourself for the real reasons, your reasons for choosing this route. Is there anyway for you to take a break from both situations to sort things out in your own mind? I can see why you're torn up emotionally.
