I started to have an affair with my co worker. Its going close to a year. I never thought I could have these types of emotions for another woman. I can describe my marriage now as settling. My wife luvs me with all her heart....yet I cant seem to show the same. my sexual desire for here has diminished considerably. When she Q my lov for her I lie. When I told her I wanted to leave prev she became emotionally distrought...evn to the point where I feared for her health. She found a receipt to a hotel & I told her it was 1 night stand with a hooker. Yet she still wants to wrk it out. At the moment Ive lost her trust. Now what makes my situation complicated is that the woamn Ive fallen for remarried her ex husband. She claims she did it cause she didnt thnk I was leave my wife and I made her want sum1. She was dic for 9 yrs. Shes been marrried for a month and problems hav arisen with her marriage. In the meantime we remained intimate. Go figure. She says she lovs me. I still plan on leaving my wife and want to know if any1 has had a similar exp.
Sounds like a troll but I'll bite. I have never been in that situation. Everyone in this section is dealing with infidelity but for the most part their spouse's infidelity. More importantly everyone is trying to save their marriage in one form or another. How long have you been married? Any kids? What has turned you off towards your wife?
I can tell you that your current relationship with OW is unhealthy. Could you ever really trust her or her trust you? Your relationship is being built on deceit not trust. Honestly, looks like you are about to trade in one set of problems for another set of problems.
Been marrried for 13 yrs. I was 25 she was 32 at the time. She has 3 kids. Im just not physically attracted to her. My W sd I was nevr a pationate lover, yet with the OW Im totally diff. She brings out this passion in me. Sumtimes our emotions for each other R uncontrollable. Once her ex knew she was interersted in sum1 else he proposed. He convincned things would be diff. She hoped her would be like me. Maybe Im an ASS. But I feel shes now waiting for me to sep or div so she can make her move. She also has 2 kids and wanted sum1 there for support. She felt the only capable was her ex. Yes she does have issues. But Im willing to look past them if this is truly love
I can see how your relationship with your wife pales in comparison to the one with OW. You exchange glances at work, cute little passing remarks or stealing some play in a stairwell. I have to admit it sounds exciting. If you strip all that away what have you got? Now you go home and the reality of three kids, a wife you are not attracted to and loneliness is there to greet you. Based on my imagination I can see how you can look past the OW's issues.
What makes you think that the pattern just won't repeat itself with the OW or any OW for that matter? Your 38 and your wife is 43 correct? How old is your co worker? Don't you see the big red flag the OW is flying? She remarried the man she divorced for the sole reason being financial and possibly some baby sitting. Now I don't know the whole story behind OW's divorce but I can bet neither do you. I would say you have a complicated affair going there. What is it that you really want?
im 41 my wife is 48. She 32. My wifes kids are grown and out the house. Ive been very intimate with the OW. Things I coundt even think bout doing with my wife I do with her. She expresses the same feelings. She opens up more to me than her husb. Least that what she says. It does irk me she went back to him. I told her I would even marry her. But I mentioned that only after she accpepted his proposal. Evn my shrink knows its complicated. My problem is decision making. I cant please both people. And I dont want to continue hurting my wife. My fantasy would be that he OW will get div (her husb has already told her 2x he was leavingher already) Yet hes still there. Once Im sep she will sep from him. And if I not Ill have to deal with living alone for a while
Are you the least bit interested in perhaps getting your marriage back on track? Is your wife seeking therapy? I take it you feel you can be more exploratory with the OW right? She is uninhibited, yes? That is what draws you to her ultimately?
What is so unattractive about your wife? Is she boring, non sexual, overweight, does she snore? You must have a laundry list. I only ask because with any relationship no matter how good there is always a falling in and out of love. If your mind is set on getting out not much can be said. I urge you to look within yourself for the real reasons, your reasons for choosing this route. Is there anyway for you to take a break from both situations to sort things out in your own mind? I can see why you're torn up emotionally.
Ill be honest...sexually its the most incredible feeling. But I also enjoy spending time with ..what little we get.. my wife did gain some weight..I expressed my feelings that I didnt desire her..wasnt in luv with her..and yet she still fights for this marriage...she did start to wrk out..she even tried to look more appealing when we tried to get intimate..but I couldnt get aroused...I have to thnk of the OW in order to get that way...n it doesnt always wrk. Sexual intimacy with my wife would lst 15 min...even when we 1st met she sd it didnt last long....I made luv to the OW for about 3hrs...and no viagra. Theres so much passion when we make luv. The OW found out that my wife tried to call her...my wife mustve chkd my cell bill. In any case the OW now wants to cool things off. She only wants to be friends. Ive been this rd b4 with her and we usually make up. Maybe nows a good time for a break. But it hurts like hell
I'm sure it does hurt. I see affairs associated with an addiction. You have become dependent upon the needs that are getting met with the OW. There are chemical changes also associated with the affair and how you percieve it. You also go through withdrawl symptoms as well. Only you can decide which relationship is going to get a fair shake. You have spent long time together to toss it aside without giving your marriage an honest chance.
You could learn a lot from reading the different situations on the board. Maybe gain a little bit of insight as to why your wife is fighting for the marriage.
Are you saying if I stop seeing the OW I wont miss it? What happens when I dont get the same feelings with my wife. Wont it turn into a vicious cycle where I will continue to search for this spcl feeling?
YOu enjoy the sneaking away and having stolen moments w/Ow.It is a fantasy that will surely end if you guys got married. You and your wife are what is real. MAke the choice to fight for your M. Take it from me, being left behind hurts like hell. If you care about how your wife feels at all, you can try to make the conscious choice to save your M!!!!!!!!
