One of the things that I saw when you came on the board is that your W never really got to the end of the line of her fantasy and being a WW. Both times previously it was short circuited and there is potential for things to change when that happens. But as others have pointed out, you have done all the work since you got here and she barely has. I feel that she's gotta either go to the end of the line with her fantasy and see what's there, or get into IC and address her WW tendencies. There is a lack of depth in her life for herself and I fear that it may have to do with self-love, self-acceptance, and understanding her place as a woman in this world, not just a mother.
Went back and was rereading things from my turn of events late last summer. Found this little gem from Maika.
First an update: W still hasn't gotten into IC. Part of that has been financial. We still own the other house though that is close to being sold. However, things have been really good. She continues to provide full transparency. She now plays her games and sings on the app without a picture of herself up. After discussing things we both concluded that her picture was a big reason she was getting so much attention. I still have passwords for all of her apps and full access to her electronic devices. Though I haven't checked them. In fact, I haven't had the desire to snoop once since I found what I found last summer.
Now, as to what Maika posted to me a while back. Maika you made an outstanding point. In all three situations I short-circuited things before they played out. This last one was barely a blip on the radar when I sniffed it out and confronted. This obviously concerns me for the reasons that you state.
This time she has done a lot of work. She has improved in so many ways. She has really worked on her priorities and she now prioritizes a lot of things over her gaming and singing. The house looks so much better for it. She also is back into Bible study with her two best friends from church. Guys, I honestly believe, looking back in retrospect, that her having some very good friends at church was a big reason she didn't go further down the WW. Though my short-circuiting means we may never know!
But I continue to DB. Newcomers this is something I firmly believe in. That the minute you stop GAL...180ing....being healthily self-differentiated is the minute you start heading towards another BD. So those of you that are Ring and piecing, never stop DBing!!
Anyway, just wanted to post this. All I can do is continue to try to be the best Steve I can be!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
